I Hate Love

I have spent all my life expecting love to come my way;

I kept looking around for it,

I jumped from one woman to another,

All in the name of finding that right-perfect one.

I’ve heard so much about love;

I liked all I heard.

I wanted all I heard so much.

I looked everywhere to find it…

I did.

I found love.

I felt it; it felt good,

Good, and different,

Different from everything I confused it for.

I love everything about love;

I love how it makes me feel,

I love how it ripped so many vices off me.

I love how it’s changing me.

I expected nothing less from love.

I got all I expected, and more.

More than all they tell about it.

Love does feel better,

Better than however it could be described.

I know of this certainly.

I have felt some feelings that felt just almost like love;

Feelings I confused so much for love.

But this, this I feel now, love it is.

I know this—surely.

This is love;

It feels amazing.

For any reason, I wouldn’t let this go.

Though it got me feeling stupid;

I wasn’t going to let it go.

It took away my logic;

I wasn’t going to let it go.

Love changed my priorities, and how I dreamt;

Yet, I wasn’t going to let it go.

How was I told so much about love, and never this part of it?

How come no one ever mentioned a thing about these that love did to me?

Why wasn’t I warned of this other side of love?

This other side of love; I hate so much.

I am confused;

Love is why I am.

I can’t decide what I want of this—forever or gone already;

Love is why I’m here.

I am incapable of admitting even what is obvious.

I cannot differentiate between what is different anymore.

I have lost my person.

I have lost my reasoning.

Everything me about me is going.

I loved; but it went out of hands.

Love felt good, but it was ridiculous.

Love was the best feeling I felt, but it took everything away from me.

Love was the sweetest feeling I felt; but I hate this end of it.

I hate love.

15^th April, 2017.