This Relationship and Marriage Thing 3

There has been a couple of webisodes on this topic: This Relationship and Marriage Thing, and on every one of them, serious matters disturbing relationships and marriages were picked for discussion. On this webisode, I’m going to be talking about the past, and how it affects the present of a relationship or marriage, and even the future of either. I mean how a person’s past (with emphasis on their previous relationship) is a very serious factor defining how everything else in their other relationships go.

It’s really tiring to have to listen to people talk about how the past doesn’t matter anymore when they are in love with someone (or whatever it is they feel which they call love). “The past doesn’t matter anymore”? How does that even work? How could the past not matter anymore when it’s mostly through it you can understand better the kind of lover they are now and would be later on? Take this or leave it, generally, what a person is and what they’d be are mostly resultants of what they were, and specifically, a person’s previous relationship(s) would have a great effect—good or bad—on their current relationship and any other relationship coming.  

You see, how a person is going to do in their current relationship is defined (majorly) by how they did in their past relationship (yes we are talking about experience here); you should however be aware that the effect of the past on an individual and how they relate with people and how they love somebody is not always negative. Experience is a teacher, and the lesson could be good or bad, and also, the application of the lessons learnt could be rightly or wrongly too. So when I said how a person is going to do in their current relationship will be defined majorly by how they did in their past relationship, I was talking about how their experiences—good or bad—from the past relationships and how they apply the lessons learnt from the experiences would be the cause of the occurrences in their current relationship or any future relationship.

A person’s past should never be ignored just because we feel good with them, and it should never be undermined how their past can tell so much of their person now and the person they would be in the future. If you’re with someone, anyone—no matter who they are and how you feel with them—and you are not concerned about their past—especially their past relationship(s), you are making a huge mistake! One you certainly will regret later on. And if it is that you are with them and they don’t open their past up to you on the 100, or maybe they just hide the past under not wanting to talk about it; whichever way, it’s a set up, and you don’t want to be caught up in it.

You should care about their past whoever it is you are dating; you really should. Don’t because you are in love then you start acting like what matters so much in defining the present and the future of your relationship with them doesn’t matter that much; it does matter. Ask questions regardless of how it makes you look, make them open up, investigate, and in fact stalk them—if you have to—to make sure you know so much about their past before you even get on anything with them. The past does matter, and you need to know so much of it.

About Olusegun Peters

Olusegun Peters is a businessman, a politician, a scholar and a crypto enthusiast. He is passionate about impacting as many people as possible one person at a time. Read more about Olusegun here

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